The Better Part Of Me
by PercabethSkyewardClace13ore
Summary: In this world, everyone has scars. They're either counters, which count down to the moment you meet your soulmate, or words. The words are firsts (what they do when they first meet you or the first thing they say to you.) Not everyone finds their mate, though. Caitlin Snow has a word mark. It reads, "Ouch, ow! Fire! Hot! I'm Barry Allen, and who and what are you?" FOR SAM.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi again... I couldn't wait till Tuesday to publish this, so here it is!**

 **A lot of people in my life are being downright awful right now...Let me curl up in a ball and die. Honestly.**

 **Yeah. Sooooo tired.**

 **Hope you like the story. It's a trial chapter atm, to see if you guys like it. If you do, drop a review in my letterbox and lemme know if I should make another! I have another one possibly going up soon, and when I don't have the workload of Satan, I'll let you know I'm still a tormented soul by posting another chapter.**

 **Caitlin's POV**

I'm standing in a ring of fire.

There's liquid underneath - oil. There's no source of oil nearby - no canister or anything.

Therefore, someone's set this fire. The smell is weird- sweet, yet mixed with chemicals. So basically any gift shop in any hospital.

The flames are too high for me to jump dance and sing, happy, yet warlike.

There are shadows and randoms snarls of animals mixing with the small crackle of animals.

The thudding music in the background makes it hard to think. It's a tribal kind of music, a wild beat that lifts the boundaries.

I have a torch in my left hand. It's about as long as a brand-new pencil, and its made of diamond, or crystal - I don't know, I'm not an expert on types of precious stones.

The weird thing about it is that it's glowing erratically, shifting and changing colours.

The colours remind me of things.

Being pushed on the swings as a five-year old. With a red and pink colour scheme, I was already the most organised kid on the playground. I could already dress myself and put my shoes on, read basic english, but I did have some trouble with my hair, which was a darker brown when I was little.

Baking a cake with my mother - we both wore Christmas cracker crowns (mine was green and hers was yellow, to match her dark blonde hair that I did not inherit but wish I did on occasion) - the cake was crappy, but we had such a blast making it, that we didn't care. But then again, nobody complained when Dad got a supermarket one.

Reading my favourite book for the first time. The Secret Garden was my favourite as a kid, and I still read it on occasion.

The tribal music intensifies.

Some unseen person chants in a foreign language.

The shadows sway on the walls, out for blood.

The music gets faster and faster, more quick-paced and quick-paced that I don't think I can breathe.

Then someone yells "FOUR. FOUR. FOUR!"

And then I wake up to the sound of my sweet alarm.

I roll over, trying to put the disturbing dream out of my mind.

I used to never have nightmares, but they'd started two weeks ago today.

They were always horrible situations involving fire and a number.

I shiver and rub my arm, the one with the words on it.

I press the off switch on the alarm, cutting off the cheap black plastic mid-screech, then rub my eyes and stretch out on the cold, empty bed.

Ronnie had already gone to work. He worked as a relatively well-paid plumber.

Ronnie was my soulmate.

He'd came in eating a bag of hot peppers whilst doing a job for my bathroom and he said something to the same degree of what was on my arm. It wasn't the first thing he'd ever said to me, but I guess what with all these things being passed down through th generations, things could get lost and become confused.

So of course, he was my soulmate.

I guess you don't always get along with your soulmate though.

We fight, like, all the time.

I get mad at something bad he's done, and then he swoops in and says the thing that always ends the argument, with a kiss, "I'm your soulmate, remember?"

I could never see his words. He wouldn't let me.

Mine, he could read anytime he wanted. They were on my arm. His was on his back, something I knew after I'd walked in on him having a shower.

(No, I've never had- sexual relations -with him. I was waiting till we got married.)

Anyway. Today was an ordinary day. I locked up the house at 7:35, as per usual, and then went to Jitters at 7:40.

They were apparently having a costume party for their opening anniversary (for people over eighteen), in four days, so I pocketed a flyer whilst I was in line.

I came into work at 7:50 (with a bagel and coffee in my hand, as it was a Tuesday) and then sat down for work.

I got up to have my lunch break and finish my planner for the week.

I include the flyer, taking a picture of the crumpled piece of paper and transferring it onto the app on my tablet.

I then spent the rest of my break thinking of what I was going to be for the party.

I'd talk Ronnie into it at the end of today. He probably wouldn't require much persuasion, he lived for parties.

I go back to my desk, shelving the party into the section of my brain that dealt with stuff outside of work.

 **A/N: Let me know what you think. I literally only act like someone else to hide my shy actual persona, so let my sad antisocial part of me know if you guys actually like me! I'm a very clueless person IRL and I will not know anything unless you spell it out for me.**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hey, I thought I had posted this last week, and when I came to post today, I found I hadn't. So this is this week's chapter - possibly one of two if you ask me nicely ;D Anyway, IDK, do you find it annoying when I rant about my life on here? Let me know, please.**

"Ronnie! I'm home!" I say, carrying my coat and bag inside.

I got off of work early today, and I was looking forward to a nice hot bath.

Then I heard the moans.

There was another female in the house. In MY HOUSE.

I went upstairs and opened the door of the bathroom.

There was a blonde supermodel-type in the bathtub with Ronnie, in a compromising position.

I took a picture of them quickly before either one of them had time to react, and I said, "Ronnie, I am being so very calm right now, and I'm going to go to the library, and when I come back, in an hour, if you, any of yours or her stuff is here, I don't care if you're my soulmate and your nickname is Barry, I will harm you, and burn all of your stuff. Considering _you_ cheated on me, I get to keep the major appliances, such as the television, and if you take it, I'll report it to the police as theft."

I had to be strong.

I'm proud I'd held up this long with no cracks in my voice.

I slam the door behind me, and I take my comfort bag (a giant TARDIS one that Cisco had given me for my birthday) and run back, coat, bag and all.

Let me explain.

My comfort bag was a bag I had filled with some comforting items after I had a stressful day.

Ronnie was't always there for me (though I guess I now knew why) at home, so this was my 'thing'.

My comfort bag was the one constant in my life.

I parked my car in a spot beside the library and ran in.

I hid myself upstairs, by the cafe.

I liked the feeling of being surrounded by books.

They were like those tiny exotic fish that fed on your dead skin.

(Okay, I admit that came out wrong.)

They were like warm kittens and cute puppies that would always be there for you.

Anyway, I went to go get a coffee from the cafe.

I paid, without a smile, but this person was one I hadn't seen before, so I guessed she must be new.

I felt bad for being rude, but I guess I did have an excuse today. I'd just have come back another time and apologise.

I sat back down in my seat. It was a love-seat, tucked in the back of the library, and it ws my unofficial corner. 'My spot', if you will.

So I curled up on it, pulling out the blanket-cardigan that was my first and foremost approach to making myself feel better, I pulled the hood over too, just for good measure.

Then I got out my favourite book, _To Kill A Mockingbird_ , and pulled out my llama toy.

It was a relatively recent purchase, on a trip across the country when I was speaking at a physics conference for Dr. Wells, who had bewen unable to make it and had instead sent me in his place, giving me his speech and sending me on the first plane to New York.

He had forgotten to mention how I was supposed to speak, though.

I hadn't publicly spoke properly since I was in high school.

So when it was thirty minutes to when I was supposed to give my speech, totally freaking out, I ran outside.

I couldn't do it, even if it meant disappointing Dr Wells. It was just my luck, that there was a plaza nearby, almost opposite the scientific institution I was speaking at.

I had brought my wallet with me, and the bench I was sitting on faced opposite the cutest shop I had seen in my entire life. I'm not kidding - the entire store was filled with the cutest and most gigantic stuffed toys I had ever seen.

I had walked into the shop, enchanted, and then it was like I'd become a little girl again - I couldn't make my mind up - there were so many cute ones!

With seven minutes to go before I had to speak, I was stuck. Then, as if by fate, one llama toy (on the larger side, but cheap nonetheless) had fallen off the shelf.

So I bought it in a hurry, the poor cashier probably had no idea what the heck was happening, and I ran like crazy to the stadium with three minutes to spare.

I went to the ladies bathroom to freshen myself up a bit (I spritzed an entire drugstore of perfume over me) and I cuddled the new llama toy.

I decided to call him Alfred.

Anyway, I got on stage, and it didn't seem so daunting anymore.

When I got back, I got my first 'Well Done', from Dr Wells. Ever.

I was so proud of myself.

When Ronnie came into my life, though, he'd told me that I was too childish and I had to get rid of it. Hence Alfred's place in the comfort bag.

I squeeze Alfred a little bit to jog me back out of my thoughts, and I place the copy of _To Kill A Mockingbird_ back into the CB, and I check the time on my watch.

16:15. About fourty-five minutes till I could return to my non-cheating environment. It's literally been about three minutes since I'd gotten my coffee, but it feels like it's been an age.

Just then, my phone rings.

I jump, and blush red because people are already staring at me.

Then I check the caller ID. It's Ronnie.

I groan, and collapse dramtically onto the love-seat. What I'm not banking on is that someone would collide with me right at that moment.

Everything goes into slow motion.

The coffee spills onto the person, who's wearing a navy jumper of top of a plaid shirt. The hood prevents me from seeing much else.

My phone drops onto the carpeted floor of this section of the library.

Then everything speeds back up again.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hi! So this took a while, mostly because I couldn't write for three days as I was on camp.**

 **This chapter is dedicated to Sam, who is now on camp.**

 **So here ya go!**

The hot coffee lands on his arms.

And he speaks.

I know what he is going to say. Even before he says anything.

"Ow, ow, fire, hot hot!"

I kind of want to crawl into a hole at this point.

Never mind, I could crawl into the hole my heart currently has.

My knees give way, and I slump to the ground, defeated.

No.

NO.

NOT TODAY.

The stranger gives me a once over, and I silently mouth the words I've had on my body all my life, as he takes in a breath and crouches down. I pick up my phone and play with it without turning it on.

"I'm Barry, by the way. Now who and what the heck are you?"

I glare up at him.

He's hot, gorgeous, smokin' (I don't know), but I can't do this.

"Caitlin." I don't know why I say it.

It just came out.

Stupid soulmate marks.

I guess then it's a good thing he doesn't understand me.

He tries, "Hey. Um I know your name is Caitlin."

Nevermind.

"And what I said is on your arm, isn't it? We should get a coffee, soulmate."

As he says this, he pulls me up with him.

But when he says soulmate, I pull away.

He frowns. "Is there something wrong?"

"You can't be my soulmate." The lie escapes my lips, like my name.

"Why not? We've exchanged the Words." I feel bad for him at this point.

"I've already met my soulmate." Again, just gone. Whoosh. Damage done.

He blinks, staring at me in disbelief for a few seconds.

Then he starts to crumble.

He starts to collapse from within himself.

The tears stream, and I (weirded out but still feeling a need to help the poor guy) give him a hug.

"It doesn't make sense though. Both of you have introduced yourselves in the same matter."

"It doesn't matter anymore. I'm sorry for having wasted your time," Barry says, through tears.

My heart breaks a teensy bit.

"Here." I cuddle into him. I cry a little bit too. "Look, this has not been the best day for me. My soulmate just cheated on me."

Barry gives a little gasp, then cuddles me closer, which sends weird butterflies into my stomach.

Caitlin, what's happening?

"I've never heard of anyone doing that. Is that even legal?"

"I have no idea." I point at myself. "Scientist, not a lawyer."

Barry pokes his head up. "Me too." Well, he's stopped crying, and is wiping tears on his shirt. He's taken off the jumper at some point during our conversation.

"You're kidding."

"Nope. I'm a forensic scientist with the CCPD." He proudly announces.

"I work at STAR Labs. I'm sort of an everywhere person there."

"Well, I'm the only forensic scientist there. So it's not like there's a small demand." Sarcasm now. Wow.

Ah, what the hell. I'll go get some coffee with the guy. "Come on." I stand up and take my comfort sweater off.

"What?"

"That coffee. You look like you need a pick-me-up."

"Thanks, but I don't want to intrude."

"Since I technically live alone now, want to grab some Big Belly Burger from the drive-thru and have that coffee at my place?"

"I, uh-" Okay, I was not about to be rejected now.

"Come on. I'll drop you off at the very least."

"Who says I don't own a car?"

Crap.

I look him up and down. He seems the homely type, to be honest. Plus, there's nothing wrong with the public transport here.

"Nobody. But I require companionship. And I feel like you don't. I don't know, but you give off that feel."

"Then you'd be correct. I don't own a car. And if you're sure," I don't know why, but my breath hitches as he looks directly into my eyes, and the next words he says are so slow and romantic, I might have to slap myself later (to make sure I'm not in a dream), "I'll come with."

I feel myself blushing, and my answer becomes a clumsy delay. "Uh, sure, cool. You want to go now?"

Barry gives one last glance at the shelves before returning his sunshine gaze to me.

He smile, and nods. I give him two hands to pull him up, noticing the exact texture of his hands (soft, and smooth), his strength (I had a feeling he was of a gentle disposition), and his warmth (his hands were warm, sure, and only a teensy bit sweaty).

He helps me with my bags, and I smile a teensy weensy bit.

Nice to know chivalry isn't dead.

At this point, I wanted to get drunk off of my ass and cry.

But nope. If Ronnie was home, I was going to show Barry off. If not, nice and peaceful afternoon.

I click the little button on the car remote, and get into my Volkswagen Bug.

"You sure you don't want me to drive?" Barry looks hopefully over at me.

"I'm not sure you even have a license. And even if you did, I wouldn't let you drive." I glance back at him a couple times as we pull out of the carpark.

The nearest Big Belly Burger was only a couple of streets away, but it didn't have a drive-thru (this is why the mayor should bring a McDonalds - we don't want to go to Starling just because we want some), so Barry and I got to wait inside.

Barry goes to grab a table for us. The place is pretty empty, but there are still some kids with parents and clocked-out people needing a treat.

"Hey!" I yell over to him. "What do you want?"

He comes up. "I'll order with you. That way, I can pay for you."

"No, I'll pay for you."

"No, I'll pay for you," he boops my nose.

Game on, mate.

"No, I'll pay for you."

The bored-looking cashier cuts in. "Hello, welcome to Big Belly Burger. What can I get you today?"

"I'll have a cheeseburger combo with a Coke, thanks," I request, cutting in before Barry, as if to say I've won.

"Cool. Anything else for the two of you?"

"I'll have a Big Burger Combo, thanks. With a Sprite," Barry orders.

"Yep. That's all?"

We nod.

"That comes to a total of twenty-one dollars, thanks."

I pay first. Barry keeps trying to cut in, but I block him successfully.

Our order comes within minutes, and we both sit down at the table Barry picked out earlier.

Like with all fast-food chain tables, there is the distinct smell of industrial-grade chemical cleaner. But we don't mind.

I don't know why, but I feel like the entire world has just - disappeared.

I feel butterflies in my stomach when he looks at me (that go absolutely nuts when he smiles at me).

I feel the electric tingles (like when you touch a plasma ball) radiate and then dissapate when we 'accidentally' touch hands.

I feel the sudden, bold, burst of courage as I go and take his hand, and then the jolt of electricity nearly making me close my eyes in pleasure just from that one touch, like I'm on Cloud Nine, as I do.

I now know why nobody wants to leave their soulmate. I thought I'd felt something like this, in the early days of Ronnie and I's relationship. I feel a slight stab wound as Ronnie just pops into my head, but I squeeze Barry's hand, and when he squeezes mine back, I forget about Ronnie.

I feel the slight disappointment when our meal order is called out and I remain behind to make sure no one steals our special booth.

I feel the sudden urge to impress him, so I let out my hair into it's au natural state.

I feel his gaze look over my new hairstyle as he comes back with the food, and to distract myself I grab my food, unwrapping my burger quickly.

I feel adoration towards him as I gaze into his eyes over my burger. I register how we both notice how the other eats (still polite, nothing primal in his manner).

I feel happy.

I smile.

"Let's go back to my place," I say, half an hour later, after we have both finished our food.

I had found out he had not seen my favourite movie, nor had I seen his, so we were going to swing by his apartment to get his copy of it before we returned to mine.

I hold his hand after I drive the car out onto the road again.

I squeeze his hand.

He squeezes mine back.

 **A/N: I hope this is long enough to appease you for the week. It's my last week of school, so after this week hopefully I can update twice or three times a week.**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hi.**

 **I'm not sure if I updated last week. If its any consolation, I was very busy at the time.**

 **Here's the new chapter, and I think I made this one a bit darker than the fluff you've all come to know. There is a bit of swearing. You have been warned.**

 **On a further note, I am going on vacation (to Japhan *wink wink*) next week, so I will try get this next one up on Sunday, so I can update the chapter after from my hotel room (free Wi-Fi FTW!).**

 **I will be gone for like 5 weeks but fear not, because they have the slowest broadband connection in the universe, no Wi-Fi so I have to update manually, and nothing to do since I own no 'winter clothes'.**

 **How can I help the fact that it's just sunshine and rain here? I want to move to England (London probs) cause then I don't have the sun constantly, and then the whole country is about as obsessed with** ** _Doctor Who_** **and** ** _Sherlock_** **as me! (Plus, British accents are cute.)**

In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have been so eager for that coffee or for the movie.

I am so eager to go home that I nearly run over some pedestrians in my haste to get back.

We'd just been at Barry's house, and the intended less-than-five minute stay turned into an hour as we played some video games. Now, we had the movie, plus some games to play on my Xbox.

To be honest, I hope Ronnie did not trash the house.

I feel like I did when Ronnie and I started dating. I know I've thought that, but I feel those tingles.

Again.

"Hey," Barry says. In the past hour and a half, we talked a lot as well, and found out some more about each other.

We had both put our numbers into each other's phones, and had taken some selfies together to use as profile pictures.

"Hi," I said back. We hadn't stoppped holding hands, so I squeezed his.

We were nearly at my place, and we didn't live that far apart, but traffic was slow because of the people coming back from their work shifts.

"So, what should we do first?"

"I don't know. Watch your movie first?"

"What about yours?"

"I think my movie sucks. So you're stuck with no choice."

"Fine then."

"I have popcorn, mini marshmallows and chocolate."

He stares at me for a second as I turn onto my street. "Marry me."

"I only just met you," I smirk, as I park the car.

He doesn't look deterred. "And in the time frame of nearly two hours, we've gone on a date, you've been to my house and played video games with me, and invited me back to yours." He smiles.

I get out of the car. "Hold on." I pretend to be thinking really hard about something until Barry asks me what's up.

"I have work tomorrow and the day after, but maybe after that? It might take some time, cause I haven't even met your parents yet, nor have you officially asked me to be your girlfriend," "Yet. I haven't asked you yet."

I stare at him in surprise.

To cover for my awkwardness, I fumble for my keys in my purse. I put the correct one in the lock and jiggle it until it opens.

"Well, do. If this becomes 'Over Her Dead Body' and you turn out to be the 'gay-not-gay' friend I will move away."

He laughs a little bit, and I internally shake my fist in victory.

Then the door to the dining room bursts open, and there's Ronnie in a mad rage. I put my arms out to keep Barry behind me.

"You b****! You c***-slut! You wh***!" He starts. "I've been waiting here for over two hours, and I have not had any dinner, while you go and flirt with the first available person around?"

I stand there and silently take it.

"What happened to that s*** about us being soulmates, eh wh***? Did you have to get on your knees and beg him and sob until he'd go out with you? You're pathetic. Of course he's never gonna want you. You can come back to me right now. Before you screw yourself over with a man who only wants a one-night-stand, not a train wreck-"

I slap him.

"STOP. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO CHEATED ON ME. GET THE F*** OUT OF MY HOUSE. WHAT I WANT TO KNOW IS WHY. WHY WOULD YOU CHEAT ON ME WITH SOME OTHER GIRL? YOU'RE MY SOULMATE, RONNIE. YOU'RE MY SOULMATE. DO THOSE WORDS ON YOUR BACK MEAN NOTHING? YOU'RE MY SOULMATE. BUT YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH SOME BLONDE CHICK. WAS I NOT KIND OR CARING ENOUGH? DID I NOT PUT MYSELF OUT THERE ENOUGH? WHY COULD YOU NOT HAVE TALKED TO ME ABOUT THIS? YOU'RE MY SOUL-"

Crack. I fall backwards, but Barry catches me.

Ronnie just punched me in the face.

I sit down cross-legged on the cold floor as he leers over me.

"I'm not your soulmate Caitlin. I lied. Don't you get it? The words on my back have nothing to do with what you said. I LIED. And I scammed you for such a long time-"

Barry finally speaks up.

"Get out of her house."

"Or what, mother****er?" He kicks me in the stomach, which keels me over.

"Or you'll face the consequences."

"OOH! I'm so scared." He stomps hard on my vulnerable back, which cracks and leaves me sprawled on the floor.

He pulls me up by the face and slaps me, hard, one last time.

Barry charges.

He batters Ronnie. He smashes him.

Ronnie's left alive, but we duct-tape him into the wardrobe in my room. He's unconscious though.

We call the police, and then Barry calls an ambulance for me. He hasn't got a single mark on him. Well, a red patch on his face where Ronnie weakly attempted to hit him in the Barry-nado.

Barry handles most of it. I'm in too much pain to care.

I'm treated at the scene. I try to downplay my pain because I hate hospitals, which leaves me feeling even more sore.

Ronnie's carted out of my room and into the back of the police car. He'll be treated before he goes to court, they tell me.

In the end, I lie down on the couch whil Barry chats to a bunch of police officers. Most of them seem to be congratulating him. For what, I don't know.

Barry talks to this one guy before bringing him over to meet me. This guy has a badge, but is not dressed in the officer uniform. I gather that this is a detective. Possibly Joe, since he's the only one Barry mentioned, in passing.

"Caitlin, I'd like you to meet Joe. Joe, meet Caitlin. Joe's my adopted dad. Caitlin's my soulmate."

I weakly smile and say hello.

Joe beams at me. He's quite intimidating, but the phrase 'gentle giant' runs through my head a couple times while he chats to me.

"Barry, take the rest of the week off. You take care of her."

Barry thanks him, and Joe says goodbye to me, and adds that ice is a helpful tip.

I had some on my stomach, but I didn't want to put it anywhere else.

Eventually all of the people leave, except Barry.

"Hey Cait." I raise my eyebrows at his new nickname for me. "How you holding up?"

"Not well. The painkillers are a dud."

"You want to watch that movie now?"

"The movie sounds nice." I lay my head down.

 **A/N: Here ya go.**

 **I have little enthusiasm as I have to go to a sleepover party (eek) and I'm pretty sure half the girls hate me.**

 **Yipee.**


	5. Chapter 5

**This story is undergoing reconstruction.**

 **Please stand by.**


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